Duluth Family Visitation Center

Community Support for Children

Overview & History

In some ways it is surprising that the Visitation Center was not developed as an initial part of the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project in 1980. Conversations with participants in the first men's groups in Duluth made apparent the extent to which batterers have themselves experienced violence as children. Overall, seventy-three percent of the men who have been court-mandated to the DAIP were either physically abused as children or witnessed their mothers being abused. Past experience of violence is not a predictor of whether women will be battered; however, witnessing violence in families also has tremendously negative effects on girls. The trauma and abuse experienced by children calls for community intervention which decreases the violence in their lives and reduces the likelihood that they will experience domestic violence in their adult relationships.

In women's educational groups conducted by the shelter and the DAIP, mothers told story after story of their children crying for hours before or after a visitation. Women also reported that their children were extremely hostile and violent or very withdrawn for days following visitations. Police records and women's individual accounts documented abusers excluded from their homes by protection orders or probations agreements using visitation to harass or physically abuse their estranged partners. Men who were court-mandated into groups for battering also expressed severe frustration with the problems associated with visiting their children and establishing healthy relationships with them. For years their parental roles had been limited to disciplinarian of the family. Men often talked about the pain of being apart from their children. Many men reported that the access to their children for visitation was being controlled by their partners and used as punishment or reward. Both mothers and fathers complained that children were being used to carry hostile messages from one parent to the other. There was no doubt that children were being traumatized by many of the visitation situations.

In 1985, a counselor who facilitated a men's group in Duluth, began to promote the idea of providing a safe and nurturing environment in which men who had been excluded from their homes could visit their children. Because many of the men in the program were low-income, they were living with relatives or friends in rented rooms and had no place to bring their children for visitation. Many of them could not afford to take their children places that would cost money. Four years later, the DAIP began what is now the Duluth Family Visitation Center.

The Visitation Center is now open four days each week, Sunday, Tuesday, Friday, and Saturday. It is designed for parents who have a history of violence and are experiencing difficulty agreeing on visitation.

• The parents have a history of hostile and even violent arguments during the pickup and return of the children.
• The visiting parent has a substance-abuse problem and the custodial parent does not feel comfortable having him/her take the child without a third party observing the visitation.
• The parents can have no contact because of the danger to the victim of domestic abuse.
• The visiting parent has had a difficult time getting the custodial parent to cooperate with the visitations by having the children ready at the agreed-on date and time.
• The courts suspect the visiting parent may leave the state with the children.
• The children are in foster care and the parent would rather visit them at the Center than in the foster home.

With few exceptions, families using the Visitation Center are referred by the courts or child protection. Some use it as a drop-off and pick-up site. Others are required to stay at the site because of concern that they might leave the city with the children or because of an alleged history of physical or sexual abuse against the children and the courts want the visitation monitored.

When a family begins at the Visitation Center, the parents are interviewed by the coordinator of the program and the visitation times are discussed and arranged. The rules of the program are explained and the coordinator obtains from both parties a history of the impact of the violence and estrangement in their relationship on the children. This history is used to inform parenting group facilitators of each party's perceptions of their problems and of their children's problems.

When parents use the Center as an exchange site, the custodial parent and children enter the building by the front entrance which leads into the Visitation Center. The visiting parent enters the building by another entrance on the side of the building and waits in the lobby. When the visiting parent arrives, the custodial parent leaves by the same entrance used on arrival. One of the Center workers brings the children to the visiting parent or calls the visiting parent into the Center. Depending on the type of visitation arranged, one of the following occurs: a monitored exchange; an on-site, minimally monitored visit; or an on-site, continuously monitored visit.

The Center workers aid in the safe exchange of children, observe and log any significant behaviors of either parent or child, and create a safe, comfortable environment for the families using the Center. It is not the purpose of the Visitation Center to observe in order to make recommendations to the court regarding custody or visitation.

The Center provides variety of children's books, games and video-tapes as well as beverages and snacks for children and parents.

When a visit is finished, the exchange takes place in reverse. The custodial parent enters by the same entrance previously used and waits in the lobby while the visiting parent waits with the children in the Center. The visiting parent then leaves. One of the workers brings the children to the custodial parent or calls the custodial parent into the Visitation Center.

The majority of non-custodial parents using the Visitation Center are also court-ordered to attend groups for parents, a class operated by the Visitation Center. The custodial parents are strongly urged by the court to participate as well and, on some occasions if there has been a history of abuse or manipulation of the children, the court will also order the custodial parent to participate.